Fuck Yeah Reno 911!

Raineesha: You made the wrong choice thats why you in traffic school. Rollin’ stop, DUI…whateva you did, it was wrong. Today you can make the right choice. You can either sit here for eight hours, take this traffic school course, or you can buy a ticket to the policeman’s ball. HUH?

Student: I think I’d rather take the class…

Everyone: Surprise! Happy Birthday!

Trudy: Thank you! It’s a rifle!

*gun floats away*

Trudy: I can get it! I can get it!

Raineesha: Oh, shes goin over the wall.

Dangle: Oh this is good, look where shes going. It’ll be a fun day for her.

Travis (shouting at stuck Trudy): Happy Birthday!

 (about a hooker they've arrested for the show)
Trudy: So I figure we can just maybe put her in a wheelchair.
Clementine: In a pinch, we can do it. That's a good idea. You're always thinking, Trudy. 
Trudy: Everybody loves a cripple

Terry: We get into the bedroom, we get nude and I can’t get hard then I vomit

“There is a key in my rectum fish it out, a little to the left there it is.”

Hello, is this Burger King? No? Oh alright, I would like to speak to your manager please?.